Every once in a while it's fun to throw a curve-ball. Here's mine. I do not have the slightest issue with allowing gay marriage! I have yet to find someone who can explain to me how allowing a same-sex couple to be married somehow belittles my heterosexual marriage. Until that happens, I'd really just as soon everyone stop fighting about this, don't we fight about enough?
So what's the deal - gay marriage, civil union what's the difference? Same-sex marriage provides all the same "rights and responsibilities" (on the state level) as heterosexual marriage, from Family Medical Leave rights, to pension benefits, to healthcare power of attorney. Civil Union, may offer all of these, some of these, or none of these. It is really determined on a state by state basis.
According to religioustolerance.org, same-sex marriage is legal in Connecticut, Vermont, Iowa, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and D.C. Civil unions or registered domestic partnerships which offer many of the same state benefits are available in: California New Jersey, Washington, Oregon, Nevada, Illinois, and Hawaii. New York and New Mexico recognize same-sex marriage if performed in another state.
Because of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which was signed into law by Bill Clinton in 1996, gay marriages granted in any state do not give rights on the federal level. This law states that no state must recognize a same-sex marriage granted in another state and goes on to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. The DOMA vote crossed party lines, but in the end only 1 Republican representative and 1 Independent representative voted against it. 65 Democrat representatives voted nay, as did 14 Democrat senators. No Republicans voted against it in the senate.
Last month, President Obama instructed the Justice Department to stop defending DOMA in courts by calling it unconstitutional. It remains to be seen if this move will give married same-sex couples federal rights.
I've had this conversation with a man, who I believe thinks the same way as many who oppose same-sex marriage. Mind you, this man is the least-religious, and least-religiously-educated man I know... yet in this argument, I find him speaking of the bible...
He says "Marriage is only between a man and a woman".
I ask "Why"?
He says "The bible says that's how it should be."
I say "And the bible ranks women right after animals, is that how it should be too"?
I ask "If we want to get religious, why did God create homosexuals or allow them to evolve - assuming it was wrong for them to love"?
He says God didn't create them, it's their choice".
I say, "Oh, ok! So you think (to use men as an example) these men, who like yourself, really LOVE women, CHOOSE to spend their lives doing acts that they really find to be vile and disgusting with other men, all for the fun of it? Or maybe just so they can get beat up?"
He says "Marriage is for the purpose of having children".
I ask "What about heterosexual couples that are unable to conceive? OR who simply do not want children? Should those marriages be dissolved? Maybe we should test for fertility before allowing a couple to marry".
He tells me "Of course not".
I ask what the difference is.
He stammers a little... Ah - new tack.
He tells me"It's bad because then the homosexual couples want to adopt".
I say "That's great".
He says "It's bad for the children".
I ask "So, children are better off in foster homes, which are notorious for all kinds of abuse, than in a loving family with two same-sex parents?"
He says "Children need both influences - a man and a woman".
I say "Uh -oh! We'd better remove the children from all single-parent households! Do you think gay people don't have friends, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers?"
He says "The kid will be bullied".
I say "Teach him karate"!
I know this is a touchy subject. But again - until someone can convince me that allowing gay marriage will somehow belittle my own marriage, I cannot find a reason to resist it. I would really think that the exorbitant divorce rate among heterosexuals does enough to belittle the meaning of the word marriage. Allowing men to marry men and women to marry women couldn't really do much more damage, could it? My heart goes out to the men and women I know, who are in loving relationships and cannot get the legal rights the rest of us can. And not only that - there's the sting of knowing they don't get the social satisfaction of the word husband or wife, the public acknowledgment that their love is real.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/24/us/24marriage.html
http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_mar16.htm
http://uspolitics.about.com/od/gaymarriage/a/DOMA_2.htm
http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/wedding/a/wheremarriage.htm
http://christianity.about.com/od/faqhelpdesk/i/biblemarriage.htm
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